I haven’t got as much writing done as I wanted to lately. Despite being prepared. A schedule was pinned up above my computer with an easy to understand time line for my editing, I had ample coffee, snacks, even organised the odd sleepover for my son, but then the horse arrived.
The horse is cute. A paint mare, who my neighbour suspects is pregnant – aw, even cuter. Her name is Lady Ga Ga. She is doing a champion job of mowing my lawn, and I’m filled to the brim with gratitude that I don’t have to be out there in the forty degrees heat cutting it myself.
In theory, this horse should be low maintenance. But I can’t help feel that she’d like an apple [she came inside the house on the weekend and took one herself], or to have her mane plaited. And I have to check that she has enough water, hay, love, pats.
Anyway, that’s my excuse. Not enough writing. Too much horse adoration.
But there’s always an excuse for not writing, isn’t there?
What’s yours today?
Oh gosh, nothing as glamorous as a horse I’m afraid! Just need to get my thoughts together which will be a lot easier when I get the children in bed!
Children. Say no more!
Hi Lisa
My excuse/s are 3 alpacas, 8 ducks, 4 hens, 1 goose and two big girl standard poodles!
Thought you’d be pleased to know that Milk Fever was in the top
Recommended Reads for my own program the Good Life and also for my ABC Overnights book review! So make Lady Ga Ga wait and get back to your writing!
Best, Ann
You are an angel, Ann; thank you so much for the recommendations.
Now, as for all those quackers, squeakers, flappers and woofers; how do you manage to get anything done?
Should you blame the horse, or not?
It’s up to you to choose.
Was the horse in great distress?
Or was it just some clever ruse
To trick you into ceasing writing
And doing something more inviting
Like plaiting and patting
Or feeding; not heeding
Notes on your computer
Of chores for you to do.
I will not refute your
Reasons for not wanting to
Do the writing you intended
So it is your own decision-
This meagre poem now is ended.
I bow down to the Bad Poet Extraordinaire. You’ve done it again, my friend.
No need to bow – cash is also accepted!
I’m thinking we need to get serious about this Bad Poetry thing and create our own currency. And then I could pay you in BP dollars.
I never need an excuse for not writing . . . writing is my excuse for not doing anything else!
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.” ~ Isaac Asimov
“Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.” ~ Gloria Steinem
Loved those quotes. And your own too.
“I never need an excuse for not writing . . . writing is my excuse for not doing anything else!”
Thank you. Lady Ga Ga can get her own apples anyway. I’m going back to the WIP.
I love that she came in and helped herself to an apple.
I expect that you would love this post and video:
http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/06/25/now-thats-my-kind-of-milkshake/
It’s about a rescued cow.
Well worth a watch, folks.
How grateful does Milkshake look? You can see the love just pouring out of her for her owner.
Hey Lisa! Good to hear from you…
And the (friendly!!) competition inside of me makes me want to out-bad-poetify Paula…in the friendliest of ways of course!!!
Four hooves and a mane
Tried to tame
The writer insane
And make her sane
To stop the game
Of pursuing writing fame
It was hers to claim
But she traded for a strain
The writing train
For foor houves
And a mane
Me crying (I feign).
:p lol
Ouch. That one almost hurts to read it. Well done again, Sovereign Minister, JP.
Btw, how’s the book coming along?
I soon got bored with Twitter – sorry.
Glad my gad (good/bad) poem inflicted pain.
Your boredom with Twitter made me LOL.
I got bored of it too. It has become incredibly impersonal, what with all the retweets etc. 
The book has stalled, although I wrote a poem recently called #salt&pepper. It’s pretty good. I mean bad. I mean gad.
Competing?? You think THAT’s competing?
I beg to differ, sir
Even though you may have quit,
You’ve still done too much tweeting
To on you confer
Any sort of title
So deal with this unrequital
act of giving praise
When it’s I who deserve the raise
In BP currency, of course.
Besides, JP – you didn’t write about a horse
But hooves and a mane. . .
That’s insane,
and inane.
So there!
Touché,
M’lady,
Everyone knows,
That a mane and hooves,
Nowhere but upon a horse doth goes!!! :p
And about your entry,
In this con-test,
It was quite witty,
But mine was the best.
Once again, I beg to differ
Unicorns have manes and hooves
Which is a fact that truly proves
That mine’s the best, so sniff ‘er
Up, and admit it, lest
The world informs you, I am best!
Right now they are only being kind
Never mind.
the truth will out
So don’t pout
You lout
You. . .
BOO!
Who?
Your diction’s swell
It’s written well
Your words are chosen
Sterling
But you must admit
That when rhyming bits
That don’t rhyme, please
See me!
I know how to kill
To blunder, and spill
Things that should rhyme
Inherently
But they’d pay a dime
Or a shilling for mine
When your rhymes are worth
A hundred!!!!!
:p take that!!!
Now, now, you two,
Can’t you agree?
Equines of all varieties,
Rarely have fighties
over hoofs and manes
When apples can be
spied through
panes
["of glass", but don't count this bit or else it will ruin the poem]
Why can’t we
ALL
just agree, that horses,
have manes and hoofs.
and that poems]
Should rhyme
but sometimes
are
sublime
when they
don’t.
I’ll grudgingly give up this spat
What I don’t understand is that
Last poem by J.P.
Would sombody expain to me?
What he meant?
Gimme a hint!
Somebody
Anybody
Help!
I yelp!
This duel is awesome I must admit
Whoever was a genuis that starteded it
MilkFever: Ur right,
We must agree
That horses of all breeds
Have hoofs and maníes
But to answer PTC’s Q,
You really didn’t get it?
I’z exalting my own badness
And trying to outbad you
If you didn’t comprehend that
We must conclude
You should be put
In a #poetzoo.
You two make me smile.
Glad to hear it
you should put up a pic of the horse
Ooh, good idea. Let me see if I can be clever enough to do it….
What’s life without a little horseplay. ha ha
Too true. You’re the master of horseplay.
The horse you describe (who can walk into the house and find an apple for herself) is definitely not an excuse. It would be a sin to ignore her and keep to your regular writing schedule, Lisa!
My excuse (again belongs in the not an excuse category. Well, almost) is: the ice + snow outside my window which we get at most twice a year! And, of course, the child who would be at school at this time is home because of the snow…
I guess as it’s only twice a year, we should let you use this excuse. And you’re right, it would be a sin to ignore Ms Ga Ga. Anyway, I’ve tried and can’t as she looks in the windows and neighs at me. Not fair.
I have no excuses for not writing today, but I had a ton last week…what a week! All good now.
P.S. I very much enjoyed the poetry fest going on the comments. I do not dare compete.
Oh, go on, have a crack at some terrible poetry.
Daw…my excuses are never so cute. Today they are a work deadline and catching up on my blog-reading (and the lil’ poetry slam you’ve got goin’ on here!). I have a scratched-out, squared and circled and arrowed and margin-noted manuscript laying open in front of me for the taking, but nah.
I feel like I’ll never catch up on my blog reading so well done, you’re ahead of me.
A horse? Goodness! Well, at least if your car ever breaks down, you always have a back-up plan.
She’s way too small for me, unfortunately, my feet would touch the ground, but top marks for creative thinking.
What bourgeois lives you people lead – horses and latte. You sound like you’ve never experienced anything of life at all. It’s easy to be compassionate and loving when you’re never too deeply challenged because you surround yourself with other like-minded bourgeois people.
Thanks for taking the time to leave a reply, Sarah. I really appreciate your viewpoint.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve found that it’s not the horses and lattes that have taught me compassion, but the truly horrible experiences, the things that are way too painful and personal to share here that have made me a more caring person.
A blog is like peering through a very small window into someone’s life.
It’s not all apples and coffee, trust me.
Was the comment above said tongue-in-cheeck?
If not, what exactly does Sarah seek?
I think not.
Perhaps it’s a plot
to stop our silliness
And awful poetry…?
reading too many other blogs but enjoying it nonetheless.
Reading is one of life’s cheap pleasures – enjoy.
It’s been too long since we’ve heard from you,
I hope it’s not because you’re blue!
Green with envy I’d understand
Of my and J.P.’s writing hand
But come on girl, snap out of it
Please don’t tell me that you’ve quit!
Your blog has always broughht me pleasure,
The amount of which you could not measure.
So tell me it’s just that you’re busy, please!
Put my fainting heart at ease!
And get to blogging a.s.a.p.
I need your perspicacity
Don’t know why I used that word
‘cept I’m an EIB rhyming nerd. . .
Really, Lisa! I’ve cooled off since the last Milk Fever.
Paula, I can see that your reputation as a bad poet is set in stone.
Not that I’m having a moan
about it.
Because I admire word skills
Can I say they give me thrills?
[because it rhymes mainly]
And plainly I can’t compete.
It’s an impossible feat
You’re too good to beat
Without stooping to cheat
I have no hope.
Plus, I’m allergic to wheat.
[I write this not because it rhymes, but because it's true and if I ever come to your house for a cup of tea and a biscuit, I'd like you to make the gluten free kind.]
Although they’re hard to find.
These days.
Anyway, the real reason I haven’t been blogging, is because my next novel has turned into a very demanding baby, requiring my attention 24/7. Spoiled brat.
Glad you came for a visit though. Your awful poem cheered me right up, up, up.
Turns out my new dayghter-in-love also has celiac, and I find great recipees for her all the time! So come on over and I’ll give you an orange muffin you would not believe, it is so good. I make them even for non-celiacs, and they don’t know the difference!
Glad to know Lady GaGa hasn’t rampled you under. Can’t wait to hear about the upcoming book! Fingers crossed that the rest goes smoothely!
Whew! You gotta love some of my typos there. . .
Really? I thought when you said “Dayghter,” you were writing in dialect. No, seriously.
With Paula I must agree, Lisa,
Blogging is fun, but you have been missed,
So get back at it, if you find a chance
When you’re not novelling, perchance
You could stop in,
And type in words in that bin
That wordpress employs,
Whether it is a post for girls, or boys.
[Corny rhyme, at best—
But who would protest?]
Ech. Wasn’t even sure that was a good bad poem.
Lisa, I miss reading your blog posts. That is all.
Thank you; you’re very sweet. I’ve been slack lately with blogging, but on the positive side, I’ve been making great strides with the new novel. Hope everything is well in your world. X Lisa
I can’t get over the name: Lady Ga Ga
I love it! If she is like her namesake attention-hog then she needs your love desperately
She even tries to steal meat off the barbecue. Surely horses are supposed to be vegetarian, although I must admit she doesn’t eat it, just takes it off and drops it on the ground. The dog approves.
Hey Lisa, how is your novel coming? Will we see you back up here on the blogosphere anytime soon?
Hey JP, good to hear from you. The novel is almost done – phew! And what a coincidence, but I was just thinking about my blog today and feeling a tad guilty that I hadn’t written anything in ages. How’s the bad poetry coming along…?
Coming okay, got a beta reader for it. Haven’t heard back from him/her yet though. I still dabble in it every now & then for fun, while I’m not working on it officially.
Hope all is well! (And by the by, what’s the new novel about?)
It’s agony waiting for feedback, isn’t it? Seems like time slows down in the process. Keep busy writing is my advice. Dabbling is good.
The new novel is about a guy, a panel beater, who loses his wife overseas, it’s about intuition and why we ignore it. It’s about love, betrayal and the smashing up of a valuable car.
Fingers crossed it will work.
Oh my! Sounds like a mystery.
Ahhhhhh…but you WERE writing. You were writing about your horse…
True. Very true. And any writing is better than no writing.
Hi Lisa! I was thinking about you earlier today when I saw Milk Fever on my bookshelf all neat and tidy.
How are things with your current work in progress?
Hi Rose, your blog is looking so good. I’ve neglected mine since summer. The new book is pretty much finished, except for one little thread that I can’t quite complete. Frustrating.
However, spring is nearly here, and I’ve discovered that warmth fixes most things, including brain blur, so I’m still optimistic I’ll have it done soon. Or soon-ish.
Very interesting! Good blog!
Let me know what you think of mine . . .
http://apieceofcoffee.wordpress.com/
Keep on posting!
What a great excuse! I have nothing so cool – kid stuff, a husband, busy feeding the cats?