Milk Fever tiptoed into the book stores on Tuesday, and I thought long and hard about what image (or brand) I needed to project as a writer (many people have told me I need an image).
Right, an image. I should probably try to look intellectual. [No more pink; my favourite colour]. Perhaps I should dye my blonde hair too? My best friend claims to feel smarter now that she is a brunette. Or do people just treat her differently? Not sure. I might experiment with that one.
My biggest fear is that I will say something ridiculous. I am a blurter, you see. I say whatever thought drops into my head in the moment, without censoring. I was born without the censoring chip.
Well, here is the list so far:
1. Dye blonde hair dark, people will assume I’m an intellectual.
3. Wear black more often, ditch the pink stuff. Fortunately, I have a sleek looking black dress for the launch, although that leads me to number 4…
4. Observe a strict two glass limit on champagne in order to lessen blurting tendency. [I’m quite likely to blurt out things like, I love you, I don’t want to, Let’s go for it, That looks horrible etc. These are the mild ones.]
5. Do not engage in political conversations with anyone, ever, because this is an area where I can really show my ignorance. Stick to the weather.
6. Do not do a book reading when nervous, because nerves can make me dyslexic.
It’s not an inspiring list. I don’t feel like doing a happy dance when I read it. Although, it will probably keep me out of trouble. It’s what a lot of authors are, naturally, without trying.
Let’s see how I go.